Jumping Without A Chute: part II

continued from part I

When I stopped working FOR God and started walking with Him, some interesting conversations developed. I sensed God asking me "what are your gifts? What are your passions in ministry? What have I made you to do and be?" For so long I had been stuck in the mentality that who I am is "youth pastor" that I hadn't really thought of the gifts God had given me, or how those specific gifts can be used in a wide range of areas, not just youth ministry.

So I made a list of my gifts and passions in serving God. It's wasn't about defining a job or seeking a role or title. The question was: when, where and how does God work through me? What does He do that really gets my "fire" going?

The truth is, there are many things I CAN do. But there are only a few that I was MADE to do.

Once I realized and acknowledged my gifts and passions in ministry, I sensed God asking me "what do you need? What do you need when you serve, so that you can be healthy and accountable and free?" I was totally freaked out by this question! "Need? NEED????

Wait, It's okay to NEED something???" I thought needing anything but God was not right, right?

Right???

In reality I had succumbed to the martyr notion that to need showed weakness or selfishness or something immature. It was wrong to need! Or so I thought. But, after prayer and quietness, I tried out a little humility and made a list of the things I needed, not what everyone needs, just me. Honestly, I still felt a little guilty for "needing", but soon realized the profound arrogance of thinking I don't "need" something in order to function the way I was designed.

Then it happened. Yosemite National Park. (yes, yes, yes. It's where I chased the bear. But that's another story).

In May Michele and I went to Yosemite and every single time I got quiet I heard God whisper "I want you to be free. I want you to be free. I want you to be free." At first I didn't understand what he meant but I soon discovered that the freedom He was wanting for me wasn't what one might assume. It was freedom FROM living under the calling of "Youth Pastor" for 20 years, and freedom TO live differently.

In his book "Practicing Greatness" Reggie McNeal talks about "being on a mission." He writes "People, even leaders, typically define themselves in terms of jobs, position descriptions, roles. When asked what they are about in life they respond with, 'I'm a _______________ (fill in the blank with some line of work)' or 'I work at ___________' (some company or organization)."

He goes on to say "Great leaders, on the other hand, tell you what they are intending to accomplish, the mission they are on. 'I am working to change ___________' or 'I am investing my life in order to ____________." These leaders speak in terms of contribution, of significance, of changing the world.'"

Then McNeal writes "The life mission of great leaders determines the content of their days, of their work, of their energies and talents."

I realized God was calling me, my gifts, my passions, my needs to something new; not a job...........................................

but a mission.

NEXT POST: PART 3