Scripted across the side of the Jesus car were the words, "FOR OUR GOD IS A CONSUMING FIRE!" True enough, it is a real verse from the Bible, specifically from Hebrews 12:29 in the New Testament, Which I suppose makes it a car-worthy message. The verse itself is making the point that those who despise God and his commands will face his wrath. This is a biblical reality. Yet to many people, it's one of those "join us or die" kind of "good news!" verses. Us vs. Them. Right vs. Wrong. Holy vs. Evil. Saints vs. Falcons.
Staring at the words there on the good news mobile, I shook my head disapprovingly and rolled my eyes in annoyance. Then, an evil desire began to creep up on me, one I seemingly could not control. Since the driver's window was down, I wanted to yell -"HEY! YOUR CAR IS THE REASON PEOPLE HATE CHRISTIANS!" But as I pulled up beside him, I saw that he was smoking a cigarette, and then it made sense. God is a smoker! Fire Consumed! Cool.
Another christian-ism is "Hallelujah!" a Hebrew term that simply means "Praise the Lord" but if you think about it, how many Hebrew terms do us Jesus followers actually use in pour normal day-to-day life. Why not just say "Praise God!" or "God You Rock!" or "Praise the Most High Smoker!"?
Our next door neighbor while in seminary was a fellow from India who truly loved God; his ability to see God in all circumstances was inspiring. His name was Narendra and his standard response to any sort of situation was a pure and genuine proclamation - "PRAISE GOD!"
Narendra, I cut the grass today!
PRAISE GOD!
Narendra, I got a C on my theology test.
PRAISE GOD
Narendra, the Back Street Boys broke up!
PRAISE GOD!
In his heart he saw the goodness of God at work in all things, good or bad, and couldn't suppress his joy at the greatness of God. I never once heard him say "hallelujah!" He may have said it in Hindi, but I don't speak Hindi.
Knowing that I had been a lifeguard and swimming instructor years ago, Narendra came to me one day to ask a favor. He said "before I complete school and return to India, I would like for you to teach me, "the swimming." At that moment, Dr. Narendra had instilled within me a new phraseology. Adding the article "the" to almost any term can make it funny. My friend dropped his beer and I couldn't help myself; I looked at him sadly and compassionately and said, "that is the sucking." Try it out for yourself!
Some Christian terms that sound normal to us but make no sense to those who are looking for some sign of God:
- Glory - "Your Glory is beautiful!" "Glory to God!" "GLOW-REE!"
- Fellowship - "we're doing the fellowshipping!" This word should only be used by a gang of creatures who have a ring to deliver.
- Washed in the blood - ewwwwwww
- "He's my guardian angel now" (after someone dies). NO. Angels are angels. No human can become an angel. No angel can become a platypus.
- Bring Your Fire! - Hope this place has a sprinkler system
- Hedge of protection - The God of shrubberies?
- Blessed and Highly Favored. - Someone said this to me once and I could swear they said "blessed and honey flavored." mmmmmmmmmmm
- Megadeth (psych! Made you look!)
I guess this blog is mostly about our being aware of the terminology we use, the words that we have grown up with, words we have assimilated into our Christian vocabulary without realizing their foreign nature to "outsiders." Words that confuse, befuddle and frighten those who are seeking; those who have no idea about what it is that we are saying. We need to not only be aware of the phrases we use, but we need to find better, simpler ways to express them. We need to be, in our speaking, diligent about giving some form of explanation of the words we assume everyone understands. I'm not advocating pitching verses from the Bible or watering down truth. Just a sensitivity to others.
You may disagree, which is fine. If you want to discuss it with me come find me, I will be doing The Praising! I might be doing the texting. I won't be doing the hallelujahing.
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