Did Jesus Ever Say "I'm Sorry"?

On facebook the other day I linked to someone’s post on “apologizing.” It stated…

“Apologizing does not always mean that you’re wrong or the other person is right. It just means that you value the relationship

........more than your ego.”

I’ve been contemplating apologies ever since. I don’t mean the fake apologies such as “I’m sooooooo sorry, but you’re a jerk.” Nor do I mean those politically safe apologies like “I’m sorry if you misunderstood what I said”, which actually means, “I didn’t do anything wrong and you’re stupid for disagreeing with me.”

I started wondering if Jesus ever apologized for his actions. We know that sin isn’t so much about our actions but about the attitude and thoughts we have; the thoughts that lead to or follow and action. We understand and believe that Jesus never sinned. So, it's easy to say "no, he never apologized because he never sinned." He had no sin (thoughts or attitudes) for which to apologize. Easy answer, right?

But I wonder - did Jesus ever unintentionally hurt someone? Did he ever unintentionally say the wrong thing at the wrong moment? Did he ever laugh at a funeral? While running through the streets did he ever knock down an old lady carrying a llama? Did he ever accidentally fart in church? Did he ever unintentionally break someone's heart?

I wonder - did Jesus ever look someone in the eye, someone he loved, and say...

“What I did was stupid. I’m so very sorry. Please forgive me.”

THE ONLY THING WE HAVE TO FEAR......

Generally speaking, I have only had two truly great fears, the paralyzing type of fear that has the power to make one wet one’s self. The first is Justin Bieber. But seeing as how I will likely never come face to face with the future former teen sensation, that fear has little affect on me other than forcing me to occasionally change the channel.

On the other hand, I’ve always been terrified of being hit by lightning. Don’t get me wrong, I love watching lightning in the distance, or seeing my bedroom light up during a storm at night. But, terror can kick in if I’m outside and lightning is close, if I have to run across a parking lot during a storm or even if lightning strikes close while I’m inside. As far back as I can recall, I’ve had this fear.

The other day, while watching a storm out the kitchen window I had a flashback (figuratively speaking) that revealed where this fear originated. When I was about 8 years old, the father of one of my best friends was killed by lightning as a thunderstorm approached. He was outside putting away his lawnmower when it happened. That’s where it began. That’s where my fear of lightning started.

Typically fear doesn’t appear to others as “panic” like when someone goes screaming out of the room at the sight of a roach. We have become exceptionally skilled at masking our fear so its symptoms are more subtle. When I have fear I can appear to be wisely “cautious” when I am actually just scared to move. When I have fear I can appear to be strong, overcompensating for the weakness in myself that I loathe. I might mock people, or judge them when in reality I'm just scared to look stupid. The hard part is seeing fear in myself for I am certain the issue either belongs to someone else, or is caused by someone else.

I hate fear. It’s poison. It’s toxic. And the only thing worse than being afraid, is being completely unaware that I am afraid or unwilling to admit I am afraid.

There is a pattern to fear. It’s unmistakable if you know what to look for.

Here is the pattern:

• Fear leads to Insecurity.
• Insecurity leads to Suspicion.
• Suspicion leads to Mistrust.
• Mistrust leads to Isolation.
• Isolation leads to Loneliness.
• And because humans were not designed to be disconnected, that Loneliness breeds…………………………..Fear.

And thus the cycle repeats itself.

Without a large, clear window through which to look, I would never know why I was afraid of lightning. I would never be able to overcome that fear. If I were to close myself off in an interior room, I might “feel” safe, hidden away, but I would just be deluding myself and missing out on the beauty of the storm.

On the other hand, I feel perfectly okay being scared of Justin Bieber.

A Few Things I've Learned About Myself Over The Last Year

Self-Awareness Is Fun

20 Things I’ve learned about myself over the last year:

• I’m still “in process” in my story with Jesus. I'm not there. I've never been there. And will never get there in this life. I shouldn't judge people who are also in process, whose journey looks different than mine. Chantal reminds me of that.

• I don’t like lace-up casual shoes. They're either too tight, or not tight enough.

• In Nola, long hair is hot during the summer.

• I need an hour in the morning, just to wake up, connect with God and enjoy life (rather than jumping out of bed, taking a quick shower and going straight to work).

• I really love my wife.

• I should work on “Wipeout” designing their obstacle courses. Years of Youth Ministry qualify me for such a role.

• I need people around me who want to know me, genuinely care about me, listen to me,and love me unconditionally.

• I need people to be around who will let ME know THEM; people who will let me genuinely care about them; people who aren't afraid to let me listen to them; and people who can allow themselves to accept my unconditional love.

• I really should eat breakfast. Coffee is not bacon.

• It’s profoundly arrogant when I think I’m indispensable and God can’t do things without me, as if he can’t easily replace me at any moment with a tree stump.

• I don't really care if stars can dance. Now if they can rebuild a concrete sidewalk, then I'll pay attention.

• I have not honestly endeavored to really take time to enjoy life in over 20 years. I am not what I do. That stops now.

• I don’t like to be misunderstood, or have my motives assumed.

• I absolutely HATE taping, mudding and sanding drywall. Next time, I'll gladly pay someone to do it. Or trade bacon for their work.

• I can tend to look at how people might fail or disappoint me, rather than see their gifts, hurts and potential; see them as God sees them. I hate that about me.

• I don’t grieve well, if at all.

• I have one of the best friends a person could ever hope to have.

• I really do enjoy shooting guns, even on days when I can’t hit the side of Mexico.

• Knowing what Shalom means, and actually living Shalom, are two vastly different things. I have known ABOUT Shalom; could teach ABOUT Shalom, but haven't LIVED Shalom. That is my goal now. It's like air conditioning in August.

• I really love my wife. Did I say that already?

Have You Seen The Mop?

I have always hated doing things twice. I don’t mean repetitive necessary functions like grocery shopping, voting or visiting the restroom (those last two may be redundant). I mean having to “do over” something that has already been done.

While working on the main project house I had wired some very nice light fixtures in each bathroom, only to find later that in a previous repair, the wiring in the walls had been done incorrectly. So off come the fixtures, the repair is made, new hardware installed and then the fixtures put back up. An hour later, I realized I had accidentally put the light fixtures in the wrong rooms; the one upstairs I put downstairs and vice versa. Again, off come the fixtures, off come the installation hardware, fixtures reinstalled in the correct rooms.

I hate doing the same thing twice.

In business and manufacturing work like this is sometimes referred to as “non-value added” work. It’s work that is necessary, but doesn’t really add to the overall value of the finished project. Say for instance, you work at Baskin Robbins making the world happy and fat. You make an ice cream cone and sell it. Your specific work makes money. But when you sweep up, or restock napkins, or clean the bathroom/voting booth, those tasks are important, but don’t “pay for themselves” the way selling your product does. It’s work, but doesn’t add value.

Paul seems to understand the concept of non-value added work. In 1 Corinthians 13 (1-3) he explains that if I am doing all manner of spiritual work, but I don’t really outwardly, openly, love people (unconditionally) then my work adds no real value. It’s empty. If I understand all the mysteries of God, am filled with wisdom and truth, but it’s not based and EXPRESSED in love, then what I do is meaningless. (*The word for love in this chapter is AGAPE’, meaning moe than a warm affection, but an active, self-sacrificing love).

I’m being reminded that faith without (unconditional) love is of no real value. It is performance-oriented living, rather than living out of real love for people. Though I may think I love someone, it doesn't mean they would agree. They might see my "love" as nothing more than a clanging gong, or a smelly voting booth.