My friend Jeff recently confessed to me that he was planning a mid-life crisis sometime in the near future. Planning a mid-life crisis seems like a rather mature thing to do, ironically enough.  I think most people stumble face-first into their mid-life crisis.  From boredom, or driving a mini-van, or finding gray hairs in places where hair should not be gray, we're afraid we won't REALLY live, before we die. Most people don't plan their mid-life crisis.

Jeff is unique though.  Not only musically skilled, he has a unique ability to take the horribly complicated and filter it into something simple minds, like mine, can easily grasp and assimilate into their own person knowledge base.

Jeff it seems, dislikes his job, his career, what he's done successfully for years.  As he and I talked about his life, he told me about desires that have been popping up in his heart and head; a desire to return to school and potentially become a professor of theology - either that or a game show host.  He would be exceptional at both! Jeff's question is one we all have at one time or another, that plaguing feeling that there is something else out there for me, something more meaningful; a purpose for which God specifically created me beyond just a "job" that pays the bills and gives me a comfy office chair that spins around.  

Jeff asked me an interesting question.  He asked, "how do I know if it's God who is speaking to me, or if it's just me being selfish?"

People have been seeking the answer to this question since Elvis died.  As I've served in ministry, this question is one of those I've been asked more than almost any other, and rarely do I have a simple answer because everyone, and everyone's individual situation and life with God, is different. 

I asked Jeff if he was happy.  His answer?  No.
I asked Jeff if he felt this new desire was from God.  His answer?  He wasn't sure.  His feeling is that the pressure and dislike of his job seems to make it harder for him to hear God.  

Anyone else ever felt that?

I gave my friend two pieces of advice, or my own dumb opinion.

1.  Find a place where you can be still and just listen.  As Samuel said "Speak Lord.  You're servant is listening."  (to be honest, I couldn't remember who said this and Jeff knew it was Samuel.  That should answer his question!)

2.  The Bible tells us "delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart" - an often misused verse people use to declare what they want and deserve.  In fact it means if you are following God with all your heart, he will remove your selfish desires and replace them with the desires he wants you to have.

I told Jeff that if he was trying hard to follow the Lord, then God has been and is, placing HIS desires inside him.  And if that's the case, then yes, his desires are by definition selfish.  But that's okay.  So long as living in God's presence is our number one goal, our desires ARE our desires - AND God's desires. In a way that can only happen in God's Kingdom, our desires are both self-less, and self-ish.


Live Like We're Dying - Kris Allen

Sometimes we fall down, can't get back up
We're hiding behind skin that's too tough
How come we don't say I love you enough
Till it's to late, it's not too late

Our hearts are hungry for a food that won't come
And we could make a feast from these crumbs
And we're all staring down the barrel of a gun
So if your life flashed before you,
What would you wish you would've done

Yeah, we gotta start
Looking at the hands of the time we've been given
If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking
If every second counts on a clock that's ticking
Gotta live like we're dying

I wish I was intelligent enough to plan a mid-life crisis.  Then again, in my case, I suppose I should schedule a plan to, you know, GROW UP.  In my heart I know Jeff would be a great teacher or instructor.  He has a gift.  While he's planning things, I might suggest he schedule falling and breaking his hip.